Sex In A Long Distance Relationship
Some of us find it hard enough to keep sex a regular activity in a long-term relationship, but can you imagine how hard it must be to maintain some sort of intimacy in a long-distance one?
The amount of people expanding their search radius whilst online dating is increasing the popularity of long-distance relationships. People are now willing to literally go the distance to find that special someone.
I’m no stranger to long-distance relationships, however I was in my early twenties and my sex-drive wasn’t as developed as it is now. Going long periods of time without sex is honestly my worst nightmare and it would defiantly be a relationship breaker for me. So, what do you do when you have a high sex drive and find yourself in a long-distance relationship?
Communication is imperative
I cannot stress this enough. There are so many ways to communicate these days; text, email, picture messaging, voice notes, video calling, the list is endless and for people who go home to their partners every day or see them every weekend, these communication tools are taken for granted.
When you are in a long-distance relationship communication is your life line, it stops you feeling isolated from your significant other and it’s the second-best thing to physically being with them. If you find that your once a day calls are getting repetitive and you just sit there listening to rustling of each other’s evening tasks, why not spice things up with a bit of phone sex.
But just what is phone sex?
When you think of phone sex, does your mind instantly go to those seedy ads in the paper or on your search engines when you’ve wandered onto a not so secure web page? It doesn’t have to be like that.
Firstly, I’d get naked, or even in some sexy lingerie. Your partner may not be able to see you but if you feel sexy on the outside, it will shine through in your tone of voice.
The pace and volume of your voice are what your partner is relying on to get them off, keep it slow, low and sensual, make sure you over emphasise on your pronunciation. There is nothing sexy about using your takeaway ordering voice.
Now get comfortable and set the mood. Dim lighting, candles and some background music. You don’t need to be so rigid and uncomfortable, you are allowed to enjoy yourself too.
You may feel a little awkward at first when you start to describe what you are wearing or what you want them to do, but you need to stimulate your partner through visualisation, the more descriptive the better, tell them how you physically feel, are your nipples hard? Are you wet between the legs?
This is bound to get their juices flowing. Listening to their reactions, their subtle moans can be a massive huge turn on for you too, your imagination is a powerful tool so use it to both your advantages.
If phone sex isn’t enough you can always move over to the illusive video sex.
More and more social media platforms are enabling video calling, which helps people in long-distance relationships have a relationship with a face and not a phone. Webcams are renown for being used to entice and tease, especially in the early 2000s.
I bet there wasn’t one teenage boy out there who didn’t try his luck getting a cheeky flash of a tit whilst on webcam to girl. As embarrassing as it was, you had the power to set the scene and do with it what you wish, showing as much or as little as you saw fit and it doesn’t have to be any different now.
Set up your phone or computer, then take off whatever you want at whatever pace you feel comfortable, don’t rush! The whole experience of watching your partner take their clothes is arousing and even though you could be a million miles away, they will still react the same way as if you were both in the same room.
Video sex is so common these days, watching each other masturbate and finishing together could be the closest you’ll get to the real thing in a while. Don’t hold back just give it your all, you’ll most likely find it’s actually quite liberating and does wonders for your self-esteem.
Picture messaging, voice notes and texts are great for a quick fix. If you are out and about, in a boring meeting or just nipping to the loo, why not send a saucy picture or a filthy text and let them know you are thinking of them. It will catch them off guard and be totally unexpected and often you find the response equally as pleasing. Just remember the NSFW rule.
If you are sending naughty pictures or texts, do NOT, I repeat NOT, leave your phone in sight of anyone else, the last thing you want is your boss seeing your boyfriends bulging penis through his suit trousers after you sent him a picture of your cleavage at your desk.
Never give up
If you feel you have exhausted all methods of communication and you need that little something extra to pull you through those lonely nights, then look no further.
Technology has rocketed over the last few years, there is nothing an app or piece of tech can’t do for you and this brings a whole new level to long-distance relationships.
If you miss the gentle caress of your partner and just want a bit of comfort, rather than an orgasm, you can now purchase a set of bracelets that are linked to each other via Bluetooth and a Smartphone app.
If you softly touch your bracelet, your partner will experience a squeeze from theirs, letting them know they’re in your thoughts. Whilst this is ever so sweet and sentimental, it’s not going to cure the insatiable thirst between your thighs.
This is where sex toys are evolving.
The onxy2 and pearl2 couples set is an innovative product that aims to close the gap on long-distance relationships.
The idea is for the female to insert the pearl2 into her vagina, triggering the touch sensors and signalling to the onyx2 to mimic intercourse, in real-time, around the man’s penis.
The onyx2 has a touch pad that can be swiped to control the pearl2’s vibrations, so not only can the man get off hands free, so can the woman.
Once the penetration is over, you’ve made yourself cum and said your goodbyes, the reality is that you have get into a cold bed by yourself. You may crave the touch of your other half and cannot wait to place your head on their chest and fall asleep at night, but for now Pillow Talk have you covered.
Once again, this product is a sensored wristband that wirelessly communicates with a speaker you place under your pillow. All you need to do is place your head onto your pillow and you can hear your partners heart beat in real-time, helping you drift off and get a good night’s rest.
Not all sexual desires can be fulfilled with visualisations and mimicking intercourse, no matter what you try it may not be enough to kick that urge.
This is where the concept of an open-relationships comes into play. The idea of an open relationship is purely physical, no emotion what so ever. That is purely between you and your partner.
Some relationships can honour an open relationship but not discuss it, more often than not the thought of your partner having sex with someone else is enough to make anyone’s blood boil. However, for some, discussing your extra-curricular sexual activities can be very arousing. Some couples have been even known to offer suggestions and report back to one another, thus leading onto phone or video sex.
Before you venture into an open relationship, you have to know yourself.
Are you the jealous type?
Are there boundaries or rules that need to be set?
This isn’t something you can just decide over-night, it really needs to be well thought out and communicated between the pair of you. If done successfully you can maintain a close, intimate relationship with your partner and get your kicks from other people. That readers, is having your cake and eating it too.
Third Party Sex
On the other hand, there are numerous perks for sustaining from third party sex in long-distance relationships too. During the days/weeks/months you have apart, you crave to be touched, to the point when sometimes it becomes unbearable.
That tension that has built up in your body can actually create a sensational orgasm when the time finally comes. Your body goes into hormonal overdrive, all that lusting and longing can finally be released, resulting in usually a passionate, insatiable session that will undoubtedly be repeated throughout the day.
The thing about having your partner around every day and living in each other’s lives permanently, is that more often than not, sex becomes the same.
It’s a past time that is repeated at certain times of the day, after certain occasions etc. and frankly it fizzles down to nothing special. In a long-distance relationship, you never know when you are likely to see each other again and with that in mind, you need to fuck each other senseless whilst you can.
You have all the time apart when you’re not having sex, to talk about having sex, sharing fantasies and desires, which is why couples in long-distance relationships may not be having the quantity of sex, but are definitely having the quality.